What is Addiction?A New Definition of Addiction Most people associate the word addiction with alcohol or drugs, but that association severely and inappropriately limits the extent of addiction in our society. A new definition of addiction is needed, one which will give us a better grasp of the nature of addiction and will enable us to approach its treatment in a far more productive way.
Addiction is the compulsive use of any substance, person, feeling, or behavior with a relative disregard of the potentially negative social, psychological, and physical consequences.
This definition of addiction creates a much broaderand more accuratepicture of addiction, which we will demonstrate in much greater detail throughout the remainder of this article. Before we can meaningfully continue our discussion of addiction, however, we must first consider its causes in a new way.
What are the causes of addiction?
Despite all the research done on this subject, there is no consensus on the cause of addiction. Some theories have been proposed, however:
- Genetic: We are born with a genetic predisposition to addiction.
- Bio-chemical: There is a chemical imbalance in the nervous system that makes us more susceptible to addiction.
- Mental illness: Addicts have a kind of mental illness.
Regardless of the specific cause espoused, most experts regard addiction as a disease, and many believe its inherited. They believe that people inherit the tendency to addiction, even if they never actually become addicted to a specific substance.
A New and Powerful Explanation for Addiction
I have now worked intimately with thousands of addicts, and propose a cause for addiction that is radically different from those generally discussed. This proposal explains the overall data of addiction better than other theories do, and this proposed cause has allowed the development of a treatment plan that has proven to be very effective with thousands of addicts.
Addiction is not a disease. Addiction is a response to pain.
After extensive interviews with thousands of addicts, I have seen less than one percent of them fail to respond enthusiastically to this definition of addiction and the clarification of the causes of drug addiction, whereas most of them have had serious problems with the usual definitions and explanations.
In order to understand the cause of drug addiction, we must first understand what is required for human beings to be happy, a subject sorely neglected in mental health research and literature. We tend to usually focus our attention to an inappropriate degree on illness and on the treatment of disease. We all understand that physical health requires more than simply the elimination of disease. In order to be physically healthy, we must also attend to positive qualities and behaviorsnutrition, exercise, shelter, and so on. In a similar way, mental health requires that we attend to the acquisition and maintenance of positive required elements, not just the elimination of negative factors, or disease.
The most important requirement for our emotional health and happiness is to feel loved. Our souls require feeling loved in just as real a way as our bodies require air and food. We need to feel cared for and to feel connected to other human beings. Theres a reason that such a huge portion of our novels and movies take love as a theme. Love is a basic human need.
Real Love
But not just any kind of love will do. The only kind of love that can fill us up and make us whole emotionally is Real Love.
Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.
Its also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. With Real Love, people are not disappointed or angry when we make our foolish mistakes, when we dont do what they want, or even when we inconvenience them personally.
When I use the word happiness, I do not mean the brief and superficial pleasure that comes from money, sex, power, and the conditional approval we earn from others when we behave as they want. Nor do I mean the temporary feeling of satisfaction we experience in the absence of immediate conflict or disaster. Real happiness is not the feeling we get from being entertained or making people do what we want. Its a profound and lasting sense of peace and fulfillment that deeply satisfies and enlarges the soul. It doesnt go away when circumstances are difficult. It survives and even grows during hardship and struggle. True happiness is our entire reason to live, and it can only be obtained as we find Real Love and share it with others. With Real Love, nothing else matters; without it, nothing else is enough.
Conditional Love
Sadly, few of us have sufficiently received or given Real Love. From the time we were small children, we observed that when we didnt fight with our sisters, didnt make too much noise in the car, got good grades, and were otherwise obedient and cooperative, our parents and others smiled at us, patted our heads, and spoke kindly. With their words and behavior, they told us what good boys and girls we were, and we felt loved.
But what happened when we did fight with our sisters, made too much noise, got bad grades, and dragged mud across the clean living room carpet? Did people smile at us then or speak gentle, loving words? Nothey frowned, sighed with disappointment, and often spoke in harsh tones. Just as the positive behaviors of other people communicated to us that we were loved, we could interpret the withdrawal of those behaviors only as an indication that we were not being loved. Although it was unintentional, our parents and others taught us this terrible message: When youre good, I love you, but when youre not, I dontor certainly I love you a great deal less.
This conditional love can give us brief moments of satisfaction, but were still left with a huge hole in our souls, because only Real Love can make us genuinely happy. When someone is genuinely concerned about our happiness, we feel connected to that person. We feel included in his or her life, and in that instant we are no longer alone. Each moment of unconditional acceptance creates a living thread to the person who accepts us, and these threads weave a powerful bond that fills us with a gRevenuine and lasting happiness. Nothing but Real Love can do that. In addition, when we know that even one person loves us unconditionally, we feel a connection to everyone else. We feel included in the family of all mankind, of which that one person is a part.
Without sufficient Real Love, we can only feel empty and alone, which is our greatest fear and source of pain.
The world is literally dying from a lack of the one thing essential for our happinessReal Love. We spend our entire lives trying to replace that unconditional love with praise, power, sex, money, entertainment, safety, and so on. But it never works, and the resulting emptiness and fear are almost too much to bear.
We dont have to live like this anymore. Greg Baer and RealLove.com are teaching (1) the real cause of fear and anger and (2) how to find this Real Love that replaces the fear, anger, and conflict in our lives with peace, confidence, and genuine happiness.
Dr. Greg Baer is the author of 16 books, DVDs, and CDstwo of which are internationally published by Penguin Putnam Groupand has presented the life-changing message of Real Love to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world.
For more information on Real Love, including hours of free streaming video and audio, visit http://www.RealLove.com Youll be grateful for the rest of your life that you took this step.
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